hah. so true.

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line

Did you find me on Mystery Seeker?

I’m lame. I know. oh wait. no I take that back. this movie was bomb back in the day. so that makes Me cool.

song of the moment.

Why is that when I want to work…everyone calls me off? I swear I’m having the worst luck. I hope it gets better next year. I picked up a shift today at Bar Louie but they sent me home early b/c we were completely dead. I went to eat n park for orientation….they cancelled it because their GM was out of town and meant to schedule me for next Tuesday. So I have to wait another week for that job. Then I call my agency job to see if I can work anywhere for mid night tonight or tomorrow night. & of course no one needs me. UPMC assisted living center called me for a part time job. I returned her call like 5 min later…and she didn’t answer. really people? why is it so hard for me to effing work? so stupid.then I post a lyric from John Mayer’s song “perfect lonely” and people are telling me that I’m messed up b/c I want to be single and alone. I enjoy being able to do what I want when I want. I dont belong to anyone and I like that. why is that fucked up? so annoying. it’s a fucking song. get over it? yes. I know. I’m complaining. but really….I need to. all this time I’m keeping my hopes up and trying but nothing, i mean nothing, is going my way at all. everything happens for a reason right? so wtf, fate? Did I do something bad to someone recently where karma is kicking me in the ass?? I couldn’t imagine since I’ve been keeping to myself. whatever. the bad needs to end in my life like right now. I need to hear some good news. I’m really due. It’s just to the point when I’m about to go to stupid McDonald’s and work there for money. & watch, when I start to work…all these jobs will call my phone wanting me to work for them. its the way if rolls. it’s so lame.

I work on thanksgiving this year. I don’t even know who is going to want to go to bar louie on thanksgiving. but whatever. its money. and money is something that I am in dire need of. It’s no worries though. just got a second job serving for a while. plus working for the cna agency will kick in about a week. I just need to work my ass off to get back on track. working on thanksgiving is okay, though. I’m seeing my mom’s side of the family on friday and mid saturday. & saturday night into sunday morning I get to see the whole side of my dad’s side. I hate driving though. dont really have the money for all of that traveling. but I never ever get to see my family. especially my uncle kevin. or my aunts on my dad’s side.

I just want this year to be over. I want my life back. I want everything to be back on track. It just takes time.